Everyday Leadership by Drew Dudley

Picture this: you’re standing in line at the coffee shop, and you let the person behind you go ahead because you see they’re in a rush. You’ve just exhibited a form of leadership, according to Drew Dudley’s ‘Everyday Leadership.’

You may not wear a suit or have a fancy title, but you’ve influenced someone’s day positively. Dudley’s perspective on leadership is intriguing and goes beyond the conventional wisdom, arguing that we all have the potential to be leaders in our own unique ways.

Background

‘Everyday Leadership’ was presented by Drew Dudley at TEDxToronto, where he introduced the concept of ‘Lollipop Moments’ as a metaphor for the moments when we unknowingly make someone else’s life better. Dudley, with his charismatic and engaging style, challenges the traditional notion of leadership as a position held by a few in power. Instead, he advocates for recognizing and celebrating leadership in everyday actions and interactions.

Dudley’s perspective stems from his experience in leadership development and his belief in the power of community and personal impact. His speech has resonated with many, encouraging them to acknowledge their potential to influence others positively.

Key Takeaways

Here are 4 key takeaways from ‘Everyday Leadership’ by Drew Dudley that encapsulate the essence of recognizing and embracing the impact of our daily actions:

• Leadership is not limited to those with titles or positions
• Small acts of kindness can have a profound impact on someone’s life
• Recognizing and celebrating these acts of kindness can help realize one’s potential as a leader
• Redefining leadership means recognizing the impact of everyday acts of kindness and generosity, and changing perceptions about leadership is crucial.

Story

Shifting focus to Drew Dudley’s compelling narrative, we explore how seemingly minor, considerate gestures can profoundly affect others. This story brings to light the incredible capacity of simple acts to mold our understanding of leadership and sway.

With this in mind, let’s dive into this motivating tale:

Dudley’s Leadership Epiphany

Drew Dudley’s pivotal moment in understanding leadership came from an event so small he initially forgot it ever happened. This moment, centered around a simple act involving a lollipop, beautifully illustrates how everyday actions can profoundly impact others’ lives. Dudley recounts a story from his college days, where a small, humorous gesture of giving a lollipop to a fellow student inadvertently changed her entire outlook on college life.

This girl, overwhelmed by fear and doubt about starting university, found comfort and a sense of belonging in a moment of lightheartedness initiated by Dudley. This encounter, seemingly insignificant at the time, was later revealed to have been a cornerstone in the girl’s decision to continue her university journey and even influenced her personal life profoundly, as she remained with the person Dudley had jokingly encouraged her to connect with through the lollipop gesture.

Dudley’s realization that he had played such a crucial role in someone’s life, despite not remembering the event, underscores the unpredictability and subtlety with which we can lead and influence others. His story encourages us to appreciate the potential impact of our actions, no matter how trivial they may seem, and to embrace the moments when we inadvertently lead by example.

The Ripple Effect

The lollipop story goes beyond just the interaction between Dudley and the girl; it demonstrates the ripple effect of leadership actions. Dudley’s spontaneous act of kindness and humor not only impacted the girl and her decision to stay at university but also had lasting effects on her life and relationships. This story exemplifies how a single act of kindness or a moment of leadership can extend far beyond the immediate interaction, influencing others’ lives in ways we might never anticipate.

Dudley’s narrative shows that leadership is not confined to grand gestures or official positions but is often most powerful in spontaneous, genuine moments of human connection. By focusing on these ‘lollipop moments,’ we can begin to see the vast potential of our everyday actions to contribute to a larger chain of positive events, reinforcing the idea that every interaction has the potential to be a leadership moment.

The Power of Recognition

Drew Dudley emphasizes the power of recognition in leadership through his story. He highlights how recognizing and appreciating the impact of our actions on others can profoundly influence both our perception of self and the individuals who benefit from our gestures. This recognition not only validates the significance of our actions but also encourages a culture of gratitude and acknowledgement. By sharing his personal experience, Dudley demonstrates how a moment of recognition can transform an ordinary interaction into a pivotal leadership moment.

This act of acknowledgement is not just about giving credit where it’s due; it’s about fostering an environment where people feel valued and inspired to pass on the kindness they’ve received. Dudley’s emphasis on the power of recognition serves as a reminder that leadership is as much about acknowledging the impact we have on others as it is about the actions themselves.

Learnings

In ‘Everyday Leadership’ by Drew Dudley, there are 3 key learnings. Let’s delve into each:

Everyday Acts of Leadership

Dudley’s story teaches us that leadership can emerge from the simplest acts of kindness and connection:

• Empowerment Through Ordinary Actions: Empowering us to make a difference in seemingly ordinary moments.
• Recognition of Unintentional Influence: Underlining the importance of recognizing the unintentional influence we can have on others’ lives, encouraging us to take responsibility for our actions and their ripple effects.
• Creating a Culture of Leadership: Pushing us to create a culture where everyday acts of leadership are recognized and celebrated, fostering a more inclusive and empowering environment.

This narrative encourages us to see leadership not just in grand gestures but in the everyday interactions we have with those around us.

The Importance of Acknowledgment

Acknowledging the positive impact others have had on our lives is crucial for fostering a culture of gratitude:

• Fostering Gratitude and Connection: Deepening connections and reinforcing positive behaviors through gratitude.
• Encouragement of Reciprocal Kindness: Encouraging a cycle of kindness and leadership that extends beyond our immediate interactions by recognizing the lollipop moments created by others.
• Building a Supportive Community: Acting as a cornerstone for building a supportive community where individuals feel valued and empowered to contribute positively.

Acknowledgment serves as a powerful tool for strengthening bonds and inspiring positive change within our communities.

Embracing Personal Influence

Understanding and embracing our potential for impact can lead to positive changes, even in small actions:

• Understanding Our Potential for Impact: Teaching us to understand and embrace our potential to impact others positively, even in the smallest of actions.
• Responsibility Towards Positive Change: Highlighting our responsibility to harness our influence for positive change, encouraging us to be mindful of our actions and their effects on others.
• Leadership as a Shared Experience: Underlining that leadership is a shared experience, accessible to everyone and not limited to those in traditional positions of power.

Dudley’s insights remind us of the profound influence we can have on the world around us, urging us to embrace and exercise our personal influence thoughtfully.

‘Everyday Leadership’ Speech

I wanted to just start by asking everyone a question: How many of you are completely comfortable with calling yourselves a leader? I’ve asked that question all across the country, and everywhere I ask it, no matter where, there’s a huge portion of the audience that won’t put up their hand. And I’ve come to realize that we have made leadership into something bigger than us; something beyond us. We’ve made it about changing the world. We’ve taken this title of “leader” and treat it as something that one day we’re going to deserve. But to give it to ourselves right now means a level of arrogance or cockiness that we’re not comfortable with. And

I worry sometimes that we spend so much time celebrating amazing things that hardly anybody can do, that we’ve convinced ourselves those are the only things worth celebrating.

We start to devalue the things we can do every day, We take moments where we truly are a leader and we don’t let ourselves take credit for it, or feel good about it. I’ve been lucky enough over the last 10 years to work with amazing people who’ve helped me redefine leadership in a way that I think has made me happier. With my short time today, I want to share with you the one story that is probably most responsible for that redefinition.

I went to a little school called Mount Allison University in Sackville, New Brunswick. And on my last day there, a girl came up to me and said, “I remember the first time I met you.” And she told me a story that had happened four years earlier. She said, “On the day before I started university, I was in the hotel room with my mom and dad, and I was so scared and so convinced that I couldn’t do this, that I wasn’t ready for university, that I just burst into tears. My mom and dad were amazing. They were like, “We know you’re scared, but let’s just go tomorrow, go to the first day, and if at any point you feel as if you can’t do this, that’s fine; tell us, and we’ll take you home. We love you no matter what.'”

She says, “So I went the next day. I was in line for registration, and I looked around and just knew I couldn’t do it; I wasn’t ready. I knew I had to quit. I made that decision and as soon as I made it, an incredible feeling of peace came over me. I turned to my mom and dad to tell them we needed to go home, and at that moment, you came out of the student union building wearing the stupidest hat I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“It was awesome. And you had a big sign promoting Shinerama,” — which is Students Fighting Cystic Fibrosis, a charity I’ve worked with for years — “And you had a bucketful of lollipops. You were handing the lollipops out to people in line, and talking about Shinerama. All of the sudden, you got to me, and you just stopped. And you stared. It was creepy.”

This girl knows what I’m talking about.

“Then you looked at the guy next to me, smiled, reached into your bucket, pulled out a lollipop, held it out to him and said, ‘You need to give a lollipop to the beautiful woman next to you.'” She said, “I’ve never seen anyone get more embarrassed faster in my life. He turned beet red, he wouldn’t even look at me. He just kind of held the lollipop out like this.”

“I felt so bad for this dude that I took the lollipop. As soon as I did, you got this incredibly severe look on your face, looked at my mom and dad and said, ‘Look at that! Look at that! First day away from home, and already she’s taking candy from a stranger?'”

She said, “Everybody lost it. Twenty feet in every direction, everyone started to howl. I know this is cheesy, and I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but in that moment when everyone was laughing, I knew I shouldn’t quit. I knew I was where I was supposed to be; I knew I was home. And I haven’t spoken to you once in the four years since that day. But I heard that you were leaving, and I had to come and tell you you’ve been an incredibly important person in my life. I’m going to miss you. Good luck.”

And she walks away, and I’m flattened. She gets six feet away, turns around, smiles and goes, “You should probably know this, too: I’m still dating that guy, four years later.”

A year and a half after I moved to Toronto, I got an invitation to their wedding.

Here’s the kicker: I don’t remember that. I have no recollection of that moment. I’ve searched my memory banks, because that is funny and I should remember doing it and I don’t. That was such an eye-opening, transformative moment for me, to think that maybe the biggest impact I’d ever had on anyone’s life, a moment that had a woman walk up to a stranger four years later and say, “You’ve been an important person in my life,” was a moment that I didn’t even remember.

How many of you guys have a lollipop moment, a moment where someone said or did something that you feel fundamentally made your life better? All right. How many of you have told that person they did it? See, why not? We celebrate birthdays, where all you have to do is not die for 365 days —

Yet we let people who have made our lives better walk around without knowing it. Every single one of you has been the catalyst for a lollipop moment. You’ve made someone’s life better by something you said or did. If you think you haven’t, think of all the hands that didn’t go up when I asked. You’re just one of the people who hasn’t been told.

It’s scary to think of ourselves as that powerful, frightening to think we can matter that much to other people.

As long as we make leadership something bigger than us, as long as we keep leadership beyond us and make it about changing the world, we give ourselves an excuse not to expect it every day, from ourselves and from each other.

Marianne Williamson said,

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. It is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light and not our darkness that frightens us.

My call to action today is that we need to get over our fear of how extraordinarily powerful we can be in each other’s lives. We need to get over it so we can move beyond it, and our little brothers and sisters and one day our kids — or our kids right now — can watch and start to value the impact we can have on each other’s lives, more than money and power and titles and influence. We need to redefine leadership as being about lollipop moments — how many of them we create, how many we acknowledge, how many of them we pay forward and how many we say thank you for. Because we’ve made leadership about changing the world, and there is no world. There’s only six billion understandings of it.

And if you change one person’s understanding of it, understanding of what they’re capable of, understanding of how much people care about them, understanding of how powerful an agent for change they can be in this world, you’ve changed the whole thing.

And if we can understand leadership like that, I think if we can redefine leadership like that, I think we can change everything. And it’s a simple idea, but I don’t think it’s a small one. I want to thank you so much for letting me share it with you today.

Conclusion

In the grand scheme of things, you’re not just a drop in the ocean. Dudley shows us that every single act of kindness, every ‘lollipop moment,’ is a ripple that can cause a wave of change.

You’re not just leading, you’re inspiring, uplifting, and making a difference. So, don’t wait for a title to validate your impact. Embrace the little moments, be the beacon of everyday leadership.

After all, the proof is in the pudding, and Dudley’s concept is a recipe for success.

 

You can read the rest of the speech collection here:

Speech collection